Doppelgänger

So yeah...ok, there may be a slight resemblance!!!

Yes, I know, I'm sick...it's a disease, I need help!!!

Two Birds...One BIG Frickin' Stone!

So anyway, I may anger quite a few people with the following concept, but what the hell…I’ve got to say it. I propose that as a society, humanity as a whole should find some way of screening newborns for inherent genetic tendencies towards religious extremism, fanaticism, and/or evangelism (televangelism in particular), and euthanize them at birth. There…I’ve said it. That may seem overly fascist of me, but I can live with that. Through pure observation alone (I have no scientific evidence of this) I’ve come to believe that organized religion is going to be the downfall of humanity. Zealots, like most Republicans (one in the same – perhaps?!), are not stupid people. They do however tend to possess the biggest mouths and have an uncanny ability to get people (particularly those of lesser intelligence) to listen to them. Case in point, I give you Pat Robertson, whom yesterday proclaimed (on national TV no less) that God “smote” Ariel Sharon for pulling Israeli troops out of Gaza. The same Pat Robertson who just months prior suggested that the U.S. government assassinate Hugo Chavez for God! Smite can be a really fun topic. I love it when Lew Black makes reference to “smote”-ing. It’s funny. Guys like Robertson say it and the hairs on my neck stand up in fear!

Before I continue, let me clarify a few things. Firstly, I believe in God, or rather I tend to lean towards believing in the Judeo-Christian version of God. I believe Jesus Christ existed. I find calling him the Son of God a little trite and silly since I think we’re all essentially children of a higher being. I think he had a positive message and a pure heart, the ideals of which have been twisted and mangled for The Church’s bullshit political agenda for going on 2000 or so years now. I believe people need to believe in something. I think it’s healthy, if not necessary to believe that there’s something after this life. I do. I’d go completely crazy (instead of just mostly crazy like now) if I knew there wasn’t anything after this life. I like thinking that my father and grandmother are waiting for me in another plane of existence. And I certainly would never begrudge someone for believing in God, mine or their own.

But God is also a dangerous concept. It’s the oldest statistic known to man: More wars have been fought - more blood shed - in the name of God than any other thing in history – ever! A few months back, I read a “news” story online about an entire Christian parish from somewhere in Bumfuck, Kansas that felt inclined to drive to Oklahoma (I think – maybe it was Kentucky…I need to look it up again I guess) and protest at the funerals of two of our boys who were killed in action in Iraq because “God was punishing them for America’s acceptance of gays.”

What…

The…

Fuck!?!?!?

I’ve heard some insane shit in my time, but that was just incredible. This is America, we’re guaranteed by law the right to think as we please…but…

That brings me to my second ‘bird’ as it were. What is the point of blogging? I bring it up because Warrior-Bard's latest posting seems to demonstrate an individual in a mild crisis regarding this subject. I only know the guy by association (through Vogler), but I’ve been reading him regularly since he started his blog and I find him to be an interesting fellow who shares similar interests (that is, after all, how our little web-community found each other to begin with isn't it?!). If I were to offer a single critique of his blog, it’s that he seems far too concerned with everyone’s opinion of him and his thoughts. If anything, I’d say, enjoy the freedom. There’s a certain pleasure to be derived from anonymity (even between friends - at face value, that seems like an extreme contradiction, but I know what I mean, let's hope you do too!). My opinion is that your blog is what you make of it. If using your blog to write a 2000 page treatise on why midgets are the tools of the devil and should all be put to death, then that’s your prerogative. Granted you probably won’t win too many friends, but hey, maybe you’re not here to make them to begin with. Hell, this is all coming from a guy who wrote two large essays on the wonders of porn, and how contract killing sounded like a fulfilling profession.

So what’s my point in all of this? People can think what they want, but some should keep it to themselves. Blogging is a wonderful new outlet for venting, ranting and just generally getting your insane opinion into the open - do with it what you will. Don’t stress so much on what others think, you’re entitled to your thoughts. The extreme religious right should go to hell…

…and Pat Robertson is a tool. May the Lord smite him in his big, ignorant, self-important asshole!

Feel free to lay the smack on me as you see fit!

29 is just 40 years from 69...allllllright (giggidy)!!!

Happy Birthday to me (*boom-crash*)
Happy Birthday to me (*boom-crash*)
Happy Birthday to me-eeeeeeeeeeeeee! (*BOOM-CRASH*)



happy birthday to me! ............................ (*BOOM-CRASH*)

So anyway, I shouldn't be happy, I should be suicidal, I'm now less than a year from the big 3-0 (ah fuck! - I just said it...sort of...anyway...).

Accomplishments thus far:

1. Find perfect woman, marry perfect woman - check!

2. Create spawn - check!

3. Become accomplished composer - DOH!!!!!

Two out of three ain't bad I reckon!

A Little Bad News

Just thought I'd update with a sad bit of news for any of you die-hard West Wing fans out there (Brad I know you are in particular). Tough-as-nails/hardass and generally really damn good actor John Spencer (a.k.a. Leo McGarry) died of a heart attack today...which just basically, well, sucks really! Not sure what effect that's going to have on the show though!?!

Anyway, there it is...think I'll go upstairs and maybe have a cold one now...

bummer!

Boredom

I have nothing better to do at the moment, so I'm going to get a new profile question and think of the most disgusting answer possible for it - have a look!

Maurice Jarre is just a lazy French bastard!

So anyway, Herr V. and I have had this discussion before (brief as it may be) about Monsieur Jarre (pronounced Zhar-ay FYI) and his, umm...music. We concluded that he basically has 3 or so scores, with about a dozen variations on each. There's the big (occasionally overblown) epic score, the schmaltzy romantic score, and the electronic score. You can basically plug one of these categories into every score he's ever composed...or so I thought.

Enter his score for the 1984 cult comedy flop Top Secret!. VareseSarabande was kind enough to release this little gem as part of their bi-annual CD Club release series. With only a thousand copies in print, it was basically gone within 8 hours of listing on their site. I always check the day they list (at about 2:00 a.m.) just to make sure I get one if it's one I want. If you're interested, they are likely available (read: scalping) at you favorite online retailer or auction house. But I digress...

This is a great score! In the tradition begun with the likes of Airplane! and Ghostbusters, the score plays completely straight against the obsurdity of what's on screen. Listening to it for the 17th time, it's become clear that Mr. Jarre does in fact have fantastic compositional and orchestrational chops. It's also clear however that he's chosen not to use them for the bulk of his long, and famous (or infamous) career! From reading the liner notes, a few things also become clear, first of all, Jarre's got a great sense of humor. Secondly, his English, even after all these years as a Hollywood composer, still sucks! And thirdly, the gag with the "Anal Intruder" has to be one of the single funniest sight gags in the short history of cinema.

I'd say that amongst the "must-have's" of Maurice Jarre, I'd include Lawrence of Arabia (duh), Enemy Mine, Ghost, and most certainly Top Secret!.

Quagmire

Quick question...

If you had to buy rubbers at 10 in the a.m., because unlike everyone else, days were your nights, and you didn't want to look like a total freak for buying rubbers at said 10 in the a.m.(I know, too late), how would you go about it?

does it need saying that my wife's doctor gave her the thumbs up for carnality yesterday?

Is it still just paranoia if they're really out to get you?

So anyway, just wanted to pose a question and see what kind of answers I get...


Where is the departmental conflict of interest in terms of my applying for a supervisory position on my shift (3rd) in regards to the fact that my mother is already a supervisor of the same grade level, in the same department, but on another shift and reporting to an entirely different manager and dealing with entirely different people who perform entirely different kinds of functions from those which are performed on my shift?

I ask because this is the SECOND time my attempts to move up in my department have been shot down by some seemingly lame-assed excuse. The first time, HR's excuse was that the promotion would constitute too many pay-grade level jumps (I would have been going from a grade 5 to 11). Everyone involved except HR and the horses ass VP on our floor knew that I was the most qualified candidate they could ever hope to find for the job (same as now), but it's like someone's bullshit agenda is getting in my way.

This time, HR said that a promotion would represent a (the aforementioned) conflict of interest within the department.

Honestly, I'm giving serious thought to retaining the services of a lawyer and filing a case against the whole fucking lot!


FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


thoughts?!

I Can't Liiiiiiiive.....If Livin' is Without Yooooou!!!!!

So anyway, this is kind of a variation on that old "If you were stuck on a deserted island..." questions isn't it. At any rate in response to Reed's latest posting, here it is, my list of 10 pieces of music I'm not sure I could live without:

1. Conan the Barbarian - I know, odd choice to start out with, but in the grand scheme of things, this is probably my favorite piece of music ever.

2. The Empire Strikes Back - I'll take the OT as a whole, but if you were to knit-pick, I'd narrow it down to this one.

3. Beethoven's 9th - I don't know exactly why, but there's always been a special place in my heart for this one.

4. Tod und Verklärung - Again, I'm not sure why, but at some point during my Grad studies I developed this loving affection for Strauss, and this one I think is my favorite.

5. The S&M Concert - Metallica and the San Francisco Symphony - In case you hadn't figured it out yet, yes, I love Metal. Particularly big M. This concert was the single coolest merging of my two favorite mediums ever!

6. Daphnis et Chlöe - Honestly, I'm not fond of the Impressionists as a whole, but this piece moves me.

7. Nocturnes in F minor and E minor (Chopin) - Of all the Nocturnes, I find these two the most hauntingly beautiful.

8. The Planets - Like everyone else seems to have been doing for The Lord of the Rings, I chose to group these as a whole (though I'd take Jupiter and Mars if pressed on the matter).

9. Star Trek: The Motion Picture - Der Herr und I have had this discussion before regarding this one. Considering he's the Goldsmith fanatic, I find it odd that I'm the one who can really get wrapped up in this score.

okay, and now these are really going to fuck you up in the head...

10. Tie - Oh, Girl (The Chi-Lites), Drift Away (Dobie Gray), Desperado (The Eagles), Take it to the Limit (The Eagles) - I more or less grew up on pop music from the 50's through the 80's and these four songs in particular do as much or more for my soul than just about anything from the classical world (I can't listen to Take it to the Limit without getting a little misty).

I suppose the most notable omission is The Lord of the Rings, in all honesty, I think it was a fascinating and monumental work, but at the end of the day, I could survive without it. And really, this whole concept is kind of unfair...I mean, come on, this kind of thing is nerve-racking you fucking sadists!!!

Addendum: I almost forgot, just as kind of an interesting discussion piece, I suppose I'd have to throw in Grieg's Piano Concerto in A minor in there somewhere...anyway...

On the Subject of Projectile Vomit and Other Infant Bodily Secretions

So anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah...blah, blah, blah...yadda, yadda, yadda...etceterah, etceterah, etceterah (for you musical fans)...so I haven't posted for um, well, a while.

Hey give me a break, I've been busy (so busy in fact I apparently had time for a quick love-jaunt to Chi-town to see da man himself, I know, I know!).

Here's a good update pic for everyone...

For those of you that are interested (and by this point I would neither be surprised nor blame any of you for not being so!), he's now up to almost 9 1/2 pounds (do the math, he's putting on a pound a week - he's not a baby, he's a horse in a diaper). And I'm pretty sure he's going to grow up into some sort of confidence trickster. Put him into a roomfull of strangers and he's the most beautiful, easy going, agreeable bundle of joy this side of Happy Town. Bring him home and he's Satan...seriously, horns, pitchfork, the works.

Funny thing happened last night. I'm in the basement checking e-mail while waiting for a shirt to dry and I hear a loud scream, followed by giggling. Upon investigation I found that the monkey had launched his first vomit comet. He was laying on Mrs. The Pikey's lap when up it came, soared completely over his own body and nailed his blanket square in the middle some 2 feet away. The scream was the wife's surprise followed by what was obviously a sleep-deprived, pride-induced giggle fit.

And someone explain this to me please...

How is it that we put about 24 oz. of whiteish/yellowish liquid into him daily but he still manages to crap out at least twice that, and in a seemingly endless assortment of brown, yellow and green hues no less?!

For those that haven't yet had the privelage, I invite you to experience the awe and wonderment of watching a human shit all over himself conveniently enough not more than 3 seconds after he's just been cleaned up from the previous one. You know, scary thing is there are websites that make people pay (and damn good money too!) to watch some of the horrors that I've seen from my own spawn in the last five weeks. I should be making a killing off of this (there are some seriously fucked people in this world).

At least I haven't tasted of the yellow streams as of yet. He seems content on pissing on himself for the moment. I did however get to help clean up a ball of snot that I'm pretty certain couldn't have made it through my nostrils.

Anyway, if I get to it here in a bit I'll put up my list of 10 "can't live if livin' is without you" musical pieces...or at the very least start it anyway.