Boredom Part Deux, A Game

So, anyway, given my propensity for extreme bouts of boredom, and given that our little sewing circle here fancies itself a bunch of film-philes, I offer…a game.



Below you’ll find 10 quotes, one-liners, or short scenes from films. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to identify said films based on the dialogue. Bonus points will be given to those who can identify the character names, which have been omitted for difficulty, involved therein. Double bonus will be given (in the extremely unlikely event) for any corrections to the dialogue in question. In most cases, characters will me reduced to things like “man #1” or “woman #2”. If said character has a title, and said title doesn’t reveal too much about the aforementioned character, that title will be used (e.g. “Dr.” or “Queen”, etc.). You may not use any web material for solutions (aside from asking each other for help that is). Only the contents of your own mind, or shared knowledge from the group, are acceptable. I know that’s a hard rule to enforce, but in the spirit of fun and fairness, please adhere to it – call it an honor system. The person with the highest score after a week, or the first person to complete the game will (or may) restart the game with their own quotes in their own category, but must adhere to the previously stated rules.

For this game, the category is: Comedies. One of them isn’t a comedy per se, but has a hell of a lot of great one-liners. I’ll ‘give’ you the first one as a throwaway:


1.

Man #1: “Sir, are we being too literal?”

Man #2: “No you fool, we were told to comb the desert, so we’re combing it. FOUND ANYTHING YET?!?!"

Man #3: “Nothing yet, sir!!!”

Man #2: “HOW ‘BOUT YOU, YOU FIND ANYTHING YET?!”

Man #4: “Not a thing, SIR!!!”

Man #2: “OK, HOW ABOUT YOU GUYS?!”

Man #5: “WE AIN’T FOUND SHIT!!!”

2.

Dr. Flamont: “Now go my son. If they catch you here, your life will be worth less than a truck-load of dead rats in a tampon factory!”.

3.

Mrs. Bickerman: “You know, if I had a dick, this is where I’d tell you to suck it!”

4.

Ronnie Cammareri: “I don’t care…I ain’t no freakin’ monument to justice! I LOST MY HAND! I LOST MY BRIDE! JOHNNY HAS HIS HAND; JOHNNY HAS HIS BRIDE! YOU WANT ME TO TAKE MY HEARTACHE, PUT IT AWAY AND FORGET?!?!?!”

5.

Del: “You play with your balls a lot!”
Neal: “I DO NOT!”
Del: “Larry Bird doesn’t do as much ball handling in one night as you do in an hour!”
Neal: “Are you trying to start a fight?”
Del: “NO! I’m simply stating a fact, that's all; you fidget with your nuts a lot!”
Neal: “You know what would be nice…”
Del: “Another pair of balls and an extra set of fingers - HA HA HA HA!?”

6.

Cerrano: “I’m pissed off now Jobu! Look, I’m good to you…I stick up for you. But you no help me now…I say fuck you Jobu! I do it myself!”

7.

Garland: “He’s a font of misplaced rage. Name your cliché: ‘Mother held him too much...or not enough. Last picked at kickball. Late night sneaky uncle’ or whatever. Now, moments of levity actually cause him pain…gives him headaches. Happiness for that gentleman hurts.”
Cameron: “What the hell’s wrong with him, man?!”
Baby-O: “My first guess would be…a lot!!!”

8.

Lt.: “Alright, goddammit, for the last time, was there, or wasn’t there a woman?!”
Dave: “Are you serious?!”
Lt.: “Yes, dammit, I’m serious!!!”
Dave: “Fuzzy-Wuzzy was a woman?!”
Lt.: “What the hell is he talkin’ about?!”
Wally: “He’s gotta read your lips; you’re talkin’ too fast!”
Lt.: “Ok, fine! Was…there…or…was-n’t…there…a…woh-man…pres…ent?!”
Dave: “Yes…there…was…a…wo…man…pre…sent.”
Lt.: “Why the hell’s he talkin’ like that?!”
Wally: “Be…cause…he’s…deaf-ff…not…stooo…pidd!!!”

9.

Frau: “Vould you care for some braaandy, before I say goodnight?”
Dr.: “No…thank you.”
Frau: “Some varm miiillk……perhapsssss.”
Dr.: “NO! Thank you! I’m fine!”
Frau: “…OVALTINE!!!”
Dr.: “NOTHING!!! …I’m a little tired, I would like to go to bed.”
Frau: “Zen I vill say…Goodnight.”
Dr.: “GOODNIGHT….”

10.

Earl: “Dammit now you’re never gonna find a good woman unless she meets the stupid qualifications of that Debbie Lynn Dexter…”
Val: “TAMMY…SUE…BAXTER…!!!”
Earl: “Oh, whatever!!! They’re all the same…dead weight! ‘Ooh, look…I broke a nail'…ugh, makes my skin crawl!”
Val: “Well what can I say, I’m a victim of circumstance!”
Earl: “I thought you called it your pecker!!!”