On the Subject of Projectile Vomit and Other Infant Bodily Secretions

So anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah...blah, blah, blah...yadda, yadda, yadda...etceterah, etceterah, etceterah (for you musical fans)...so I haven't posted for um, well, a while.

Hey give me a break, I've been busy (so busy in fact I apparently had time for a quick love-jaunt to Chi-town to see da man himself, I know, I know!).

Here's a good update pic for everyone...

For those of you that are interested (and by this point I would neither be surprised nor blame any of you for not being so!), he's now up to almost 9 1/2 pounds (do the math, he's putting on a pound a week - he's not a baby, he's a horse in a diaper). And I'm pretty sure he's going to grow up into some sort of confidence trickster. Put him into a roomfull of strangers and he's the most beautiful, easy going, agreeable bundle of joy this side of Happy Town. Bring him home and he's Satan...seriously, horns, pitchfork, the works.

Funny thing happened last night. I'm in the basement checking e-mail while waiting for a shirt to dry and I hear a loud scream, followed by giggling. Upon investigation I found that the monkey had launched his first vomit comet. He was laying on Mrs. The Pikey's lap when up it came, soared completely over his own body and nailed his blanket square in the middle some 2 feet away. The scream was the wife's surprise followed by what was obviously a sleep-deprived, pride-induced giggle fit.

And someone explain this to me please...

How is it that we put about 24 oz. of whiteish/yellowish liquid into him daily but he still manages to crap out at least twice that, and in a seemingly endless assortment of brown, yellow and green hues no less?!

For those that haven't yet had the privelage, I invite you to experience the awe and wonderment of watching a human shit all over himself conveniently enough not more than 3 seconds after he's just been cleaned up from the previous one. You know, scary thing is there are websites that make people pay (and damn good money too!) to watch some of the horrors that I've seen from my own spawn in the last five weeks. I should be making a killing off of this (there are some seriously fucked people in this world).

At least I haven't tasted of the yellow streams as of yet. He seems content on pissing on himself for the moment. I did however get to help clean up a ball of snot that I'm pretty certain couldn't have made it through my nostrils.

Anyway, if I get to it here in a bit I'll put up my list of 10 "can't live if livin' is without you" musical pieces...or at the very least start it anyway.