So anyway, yesterday as I was about to settle in for the night(?) I made a somewhat startling discovery…I’m borderline obsessive-compulsive. It’s either that, or I’m just plain psychotic. Follow me on this one…I like to have the TV on when I’m sleeping (nothing unusual), and as I’m about to go to sleep, I have to turn the volume all the way down, turn on the closed captioning, and leave the cable on a program that I would want to watch if I were staying up (DANGER, DANGER, does not compute, DANGER!!!).
But I’m not; I’m going to sleep.
But I can’t sleep if the TV’s on something that I wouldn’t want to watch. It’s not like it matters that something good is on, after all, I always set the sleep timer for 30 minutes. But the magic just doesn’t happen if something good isn’t on. I’ve got another one too!!!
At work, we have a lot of plastic USPS mail trays that we put checks in. If you’re not sure what these are they’re long (about 2 feet, maybe 28 inches), white plastic trays with ‘United States Postal Service’ on the side in big black lettering and their used (obviously) for delivering bulk mail. On one end there’s a plastic sleeve that’s used to insert stubs from air bills or place tray ID’s. Anyway, I absolutely cannot leave these on the tray. I am physically unable to continue putting work into the tray unless I rip that little son-of-a-bitch off. If I know it’s on there, I get the shakes.
So I guess I have two questions really, one: Do I really have a problem?; and two: If not, am I alone in the freak zone (hey that rhymed!)? I’d really like to know and with any luck people outside my diminutive circle of regular-crazy-cyber-buddies will also find this and contribute some insight. I’ve always been crazy (note my previously posted void of moral fiber), just not one of the crazies with a name. Knowing my luck, a Scientologist will read this and tell me not to worry because Bleeblezix from Grellnaut Zebular 9 will make it all better for me very soon (and I think I’m nuts, those fuckers are on Pluto ‘r something man, they’re gone!!!).
But I’m not; I’m going to sleep.
But I can’t sleep if the TV’s on something that I wouldn’t want to watch. It’s not like it matters that something good is on, after all, I always set the sleep timer for 30 minutes. But the magic just doesn’t happen if something good isn’t on. I’ve got another one too!!!
At work, we have a lot of plastic USPS mail trays that we put checks in. If you’re not sure what these are they’re long (about 2 feet, maybe 28 inches), white plastic trays with ‘United States Postal Service’ on the side in big black lettering and their used (obviously) for delivering bulk mail. On one end there’s a plastic sleeve that’s used to insert stubs from air bills or place tray ID’s. Anyway, I absolutely cannot leave these on the tray. I am physically unable to continue putting work into the tray unless I rip that little son-of-a-bitch off. If I know it’s on there, I get the shakes.
So I guess I have two questions really, one: Do I really have a problem?; and two: If not, am I alone in the freak zone (hey that rhymed!)? I’d really like to know and with any luck people outside my diminutive circle of regular-crazy-cyber-buddies will also find this and contribute some insight. I’ve always been crazy (note my previously posted void of moral fiber), just not one of the crazies with a name. Knowing my luck, a Scientologist will read this and tell me not to worry because Bleeblezix from Grellnaut Zebular 9 will make it all better for me very soon (and I think I’m nuts, those fuckers are on Pluto ‘r something man, they’re gone!!!).
2 comments:
alright here's the deal. you are not crazy just quirky. sometimes i wonder if my wife married me for a case study. i know i am normal (not normal to others) but life wouldn't be fun if i wasn't the way i was. when i lived alone, i couldn't fall asleep without having "Muppet Treasure Island" on the tele. now i can barely get to sleep without reading two chapters in whatever book i happen to be reading...however, if i am starting a new book and the writing is horrible i have to start a new book. it usually takes me two chapters to realize how horrible the writing is so sometimes on a "new book night" i can read the beginning of four books.
crazy...i think not. you are normal in my world!
Yes, my friend, there is nothing wrong with you (okay, the USPS thing is a touch odd, but I've known you for almost 10 years now so I'm used to it). I'm the same way falling asleep. Well, the same but the exact opposite (so not the same at all?). Anyway, I have to have something on that I won't pay attention to. Otherwise I will stay awake. So usually it's the late edition of SportsCenter or CNN (unless Wolf Blitzer is on then forget it!). Having seen these earlier in the evening, it's easier to fall asleep.
To sum up: you're not crazy (except for the USPS thing), you're just "special". You're unique; just like everyone else.
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