Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Wookin Pa Nub In Aw Da Wong Pwaces.

So anyway, my wife and I found out we're having a boy. And for whatever strange and somewhat perverse reason, I find myself VERY proud of my son's penis. It's not like I preferred a boy over a girl, in fact, I didn't want to know at all. The boss (my wife) made me find out what it was. But after seeing that little dinky up on the screen, I became a man obsessed. Friends and co-workers would ask what it was, and I would gloriously proclaim, "My child has a penis!". The first picture I show people is the one with the package. It's not like I had just staked a flag into the New World or anything, it's just a member...a tiny, not yet fully developed member at that. My father, whom when I was born, was quoted as exclaiming, "Wow!!! Look at the set'a balls on that kid!". So I suppose a man's pride in his son's nub is kind of a given, but still, I've gone off the deep end here. The kid's not John Holmes, hell, he's just over half-cooked. I don't think I'd react this way if it had a vagina. And if I had, I'd be checking myself into some form of correctional facility for deviants. While I'm on that subject, am I the only one who thinks vagina is THE MOST DISGUSTING of all the names in the english language for that thing? Admittedly some of the others are a little vulgar, but the vag is just plain gross.

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