Sunday, October 18, 2009

Grita un Río Pendejo

So anyway, umm...yeah, touchy subject - immigration (of the illegal variety). You may have noticed this little nugget from whatever your favorite news outlet happens to be. I chose CNN.com, whatever your preference for "news" happens to be, hey...whatever, it's cool, but regardless - I'm still fuming. Don't really know why. As a certain, curly-blonde, jolly Viking said in a favorite film of mine, "It's a small matter". But hey, fuck it, sometimes you do have to sweat the small things. So, for the record...lemme see if I have this straight - and I'll save my thoughts on the apparent fact that advocacy groups for illegal immigrants even exist for another time, anyway - you people (the aforementioned immigrants) are upset, that a Halloween costume, a lame one at that, might be offensive to millions of illegals (particularly of the, erm, south-o-the-border variety) and want it pulled off the store shelves. It's...a costume, of a "little green man", with a, ahem, green card...in a GITMO jumpsuit. It's...a...costume, an alien costume - and not some sort of Pancho Villa get-up, rolled up in a tortilla, and shoved up a giant rubber anus. That is what you're upset about? Really? Hrmm...

So naturally, my immediate thought is, well...FUCK YOU!!! It's...a fucking costume, mildly clever at best. And it's insensitive to your person because, let's see - it disrespects your status as an ILLEGAL FUCKING IMMIGRANT!!! Here's a bold thought - you don't like it, you could always, oh I dunno...GO THE FUCK HOME! If I'm not mistaken, you, el inmigrante ilegal del pendejo gigante (sorry if I offended anyone with my Babelfish Spanish there...oh wait, no I'm not!!!) aren't even supposed to be here. And please, spare me the whole "this country was built on the backs of immigrants" bullshit. You're right, it was...legal ones. They came through Ellis, or wherever, filled out their paperwork, became part of the system, paid their taxes, did every-fucking-thing they had to do to be an official, recognized citizen of this land. My dad was third generation off the boat from Ireland. His great-grandfather came through Ellis (I've seen the paperwork). What does any of that mean - hell, I don't know, I just know I'm sick of piss-ant, bullshit, crybaby illegals whining about ANY mistreatment while living here in the U.S.

Look, I'm all for cultural diversity; I'm totally for seeking a better life in the land of opportunity; but for fuck's sake - get a fucking green card! Is it really that hard?!?! If it is that hard, then, once again, I refer to my previous sentiment...fuck you. You are not a citizen of this country; you are living here illegally; you are working here illegally; you are not paying the taxes that support the benefits you are receiving. You do not get to complain. You get no say...in ANYTHING. So shut-the-fuck-up and get back to serving me my McBurger and picking my produce fucker! Now...where's the nearest costume shop?!

3 comments:

the warrior bard said...

Yeah, I don't see how that costume could be remotely offensive. I don't even see it as vaguely politically incorrect. It's a cheesy pun. That's all it is.

And you're right: what's truly fascinating is that people are worried about hurting the feelings of criminals. Abstract ones at that. I mean, what illegal immigrant is going to see that costume on the street and yell, "DIOS MIO! Senor, that costume offends me as an illegal immigrant! As an illegal immigrant, I have the right to not be attacked in this way!"

There's PLENTY of shit in the world to be GENUINELY pissed off about. The fact that people find this such a touchy subject... makes me want to wear the costume.

Herr Vogler said...

People just need to fucking lighten up.

word verification: encho

A Mexican chili that is more "angry" than its ancho counterpart.

the warrior bard said...

Fucking people. I hate 'em all. DO YOU HEAR ME?! I HATE PEOPLE!!!

Word verification: defel

An actual species from the Star Wars universe. Seriously. Awesome. I hope my next word verification is "Wookiee."