Monday, March 31, 2008

Define Irony

So anyway, a little setup if you'll indulge me...

The family and I went to the Isle of Capri for lunch this afternoon, not knowing that they have a down time between 3:00 and 4:00. So whilst I'm reading a sign explaining their hours, a woman at a table behind me instigates the following conversation (this is verbatim, at least I'm relatively certain - and I'll try to avoid any racial undertones as much as humanly possible):

Woman: "Young man, come here a second"

Me: (with a finger signaling I need a moment - I'm reading after all) "Just a minute"

Me: (A few seconds later) "Yes, what can I do for you?"

Woman: "What's Jefferson City?"

Me: A city!!!

Woman: "It is?!?!"

Me: "Yes..."

Woman: "Where?"

Me: "In...Missouri - It's the state capital."

Woman: "Where?"

Me: "In Missouri!"

Woman: "But where in Missouri?"

Me: "Just about right smack in the middle."

Woman: "And it's a city?"

Me: "Oh yeah..."

Woman: "It is?!?!"

Me: "Yes mam."

Woman: "So what's Cole?"

Me: "I'm sorry?"

Woman: "What's Cole? Is it a county?"

Me: "I believe you have a map (she has a county map on the back of the piece of paper she's holding)?"

I flip the paper over - then show her Cole county in central Missouri

Me: "Here it is."

Woman: "Where?"

Me: "Right here!"

Woman: "So what's Jefferson City?"

Me: "A city!!! In Cole County Missouri?"

Woman: "So it's a real city?"

Me: "'s the state capital!"

Woman: "It is?!?!"

Me: "yep!" - at this point you can probably imagine the look of complete and total disbelief on my face - and if not, just imagine how you'd look if someone has just completely flabbergasted you!

Woman: "And it's in Cole?"

Me: (slightly annoyed at this point) "yes."

Woman: "Oh, ok...! - Are you a registered voter in Missouri?"

Me: "Yes."

Woman: "Well sign over there - what county are you in?"

Me: "Jackson"

Woman: "Which Jackson?"

Me: "The one in Missouri."

Woman: "But which one...Kansas City or the other?"

Me: "I live in Raytown - in Jackson County, Missouri."

Woman: "Oh...well sign over there on Jackson."

She's sitting at a table, taking signatures for a petition for a bill proposal for...wait for it...



Somewhere in this country, Lewis Black's head just exploded.

some people should not be allowed to breed...that's all I'm saying!

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Vindication (sort of...)

So anyway, I got an awesome phone call this afternoon whilst purchasing my tickets for 10,000B.C. (don't knock it - it's actually quite entertaining...if you leave your brain on a shelf). Anyway, my guy Rich calls and says the "indie-gothic-indian-thriller-western" producers liked my demo CD and are going to give me a clip to score.

"And?...What's that mean Mike?", you're asking. Well, it means if I can come up with something they like for whatever the hell it is they're sending me, then I'll get to...(wait for it)......SCORE MY FIRST FEATURE-LENGTH FILM (for the full effect, imagine two blonde, SO-CAL Valley Girls getting excited over a new pair of shoes)!!!


Keep in mind, this is a period movie...with indians...that they've temp-tracked with The Others and Phil Glass' Dracula. Frankly, I'm dumbfounded. Anyway, just thought I'd share. By the way, Brad...when I do get whatever it is I'm getting, you wanna come over and help me spot it? Seriously, I want an extra set of eyes on this thing to make goddamned sure I get it just right...fucking this up might just push me over that narrow edge my sanity's teetering on.

I'm just praying to God and dear, sweet Bebe Jezuth that they left the temp score off the clip!