Trois

So anyway, they say things come in three’s: deaths, events – both good and bad, etc. Well as luck would have it – we at the Shehan household are two for three. On Monday, we found out our home loan was going through – so the little lady and I it seems have our first house. Yay! Took fucking long enough! I've already made my spiel about the terrors of securing a home loan, so I won’t go into that again. Let’s just say a giant frakkin’ weight, the size of oh I dunno, say…ME…has been lifted off our chests. And good riddance too…can’t have anything damaging such a lovely thing as my chest (you thought I was going to say something to disgust you, you know, T.M.I about my wife’s T.I.T.’s, didn't you? Didn't YOU?! Admit it…CONFESS I SAY!!!“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in the world, t’would be a pity to lose a pair such as yours!”).

My wife’s boss is a snotty bitch. No really, she’s temperamental, and crabby, and unsociable in the worst way. She’s always chastising my wife for this, that and the other, and for no damned good reason. She’s rude, hateful, condescending, and seems to go through life with something terribly uncomfortable permanently lodged up her ass. In short, she has no business being in charge of grass, let alone other people. My wife’s a fucking hard worker. She busts her petite little butt – she’s a perfectionist (at work, don’t get me started about home), and she won’t settle for anything less than the best. She has OCD, so that plays into it, but in the end it works out for her. And try as she may, she just can’t please this cunt. Yes…I used the C-word (“Did you just say the F-Word?” “What…Jew?!”). Today is Sam’s first day back at work from maternity leave (awww…), and wouldn't you know it – she just found out the bitch is quitting a week from Friday [cue elating music]. Seems poor miss thing just doesn't like city life and is resigning to the quiet charms of…Springfield?! Wait…what?!?! Lady, what the fuck are you thinking?! Oh, well considering the source, I’d say she isn't. I told you she was weird – okay so I didn't use the word weird, but whatever, you get the gist.

So, I’m thinking I've got one more bit of good luck coming my way. What do you fine folks think. I’m wondering if I should start a poll or something. You know…vote for what would be the ideal bit of good news. I’m voting for threesome (with another fucking woman of course – another dude is just 31 flavors of wrong, and besides, two dudes and a girl is a gang-bang, not a threesome – if you really want to know why, I’ll explain it in a comment). Hey, threesome…three, that’s poetic somehow! Yeah, I know…in my dreams, but what the fuck right…as long as I’m dreaming? I suppose for the moment I’ll just settle for a free CD or something. A guy can always use new, free shit!

Seriously, what do you think…pushing my luck?

BTW...this is my third post in less than a week. Coincidence? We may never know...