So anyway, after this morning, I'm thinking there should be some sort of unwritten rule - call it a universally accepted natural law if you will - that there should be a limit on the number of ginormous shits you can have in a 24-hour period. Seriously! Late yesterday afternoon I had, what can only be described as the scat version of John Holmes, rip my poor, tender anus asunder. Then this morning, I was - and I don't use the term lightly - violated by Brown Ron Jeremy! I feel like I should buy stock in whoever makes A & D Ointment! There aren't enough bags of ice in the fucking world right now! It was as if two of the four horsemen entered our realm by drilling through my ass! Fecus Mortis - the death shit (where's that fucking spell in Harry Potter, I ask you?!)! I haven't been over-eating, and I'm regular. So what did I do to deserve such torture?! Is there some lesser-known God out there that I've offended - is Cornholus, God of the Atomic Shite (probably found on the same page as Bill, Lord of Postage Stamps), angry with me?!! I guess I should be glad I'm not Jewish, I'd be suffering from some twisted form of neurotic Poo-Envy (yeah, they were that big!). At this point I can't help but empathize with the many various young ladies in adult film who over the years have had to endure such probing repeatedly and for hours on end. It's almost enough for me to reconsider my stance on the whole "backdoor love"...thing!
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OK, yeah...even I didn't buy that one! There isn't a big enough turd in the world to make me stop loving some good ol' fashion rear-entry rendering ("sometimes, if you're in the heat of the moment...it's ok to go ass-to-mouth." tee-hee!!!)!!! Hey...don't look at me like that. No. NO!!! Stop it! You chose to come here. You've been following my posts for God only knows how long - you should know that a weird one is always lurking around the corner. I've been "normal" for waaaaaaaayyyyyy the fuck too long - this blog was due for some off-the-wall, freaky, mind-fucked, disgusting insanity. You should know by now...diving off the deep end doesn't cut it for this blog. No, no, no...I take the deep end, kill it, skin it, fuck it, then eat it - in that order! So, caveat lector, as it were - "Shana, they bought their tickets...they knew what they were getting in to! I say, 'LET 'EM CRASH'". Still, could've been worse - could've been the hot-pepper squirts! The proverbial "brown lava of doom" you know. I'll take poo-sodomy-rape any day over that!!! Sorry, it's late (or early, depending on your point of view), and these are the things that go through my mind when I'm tired and bored. Sue me!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...
