Define Irony (Part-o Numero Dos...o)

So anyway, as I'm sure you've all heard...people are REALLY fucking stupid! Case in point - this little nugget. It seems that this woman left her dog in her car on a hot day and - whodafuckinthunkit - it died!!! I left a burrito in a hot car once...it exploded - I suppose that's similar. Eh...no?! OK, well whatever. The kicker in all this - she's the CEO of the Richmond, VA chapter of the FUCKING SOCIETY FOR THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY TO ANIMALS (note, I originally had that last 'fucking' between 'to' and 'animals' - which is just silly because let's face it...all animals are fucking animals right?!)!!!!!

How...exactly...does one, erm...qualify to lead an organization such as the SPCA? Do you have to be friends with George W. Bush? Is there a test? Is it multiple choice? Is it graded on some kind of bell curve? Shouldn't said hypothetical test have a question like, oh I dunno, say:

You have a dog. The temperature outside feels like you're seven inches from the fucking sun. You need to buy a double-dong dildo and stamps. You should:

A: Leave Fuzzy McShitbag at home

B: Take Fuzzy McShitbag with you, but take him into Skeevy's Dildo and Stamp Emporium

C: Take Fuzzy McShitbag with you, but leave him in your car (in the Hell-weather) to die a horrible, stifling death

D: Take Fuzzy McShitbag out back and just shoot him now because you have no business owning an ant farm, let alone a dog

E: Answer D and then put one in your own worthless lump on your shoulders

JESUS BABY-PUNCHING CHRIST - WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE?!?!?!