Friday, February 13, 2009

Pathos

So anyway, I got the following in an email today, and I just wanted to share with anyone who might stumble by my little blogsphere here. It probably won't be particularly interesting to anyone except me...just know that I've been working in the same place for going on seven years - and this would be uproariously funny if it weren't so pathetically dead-on:


You Know You Work for a Bank When

  • You sit at the same desk for 4 years but work for 3 different departments.
  • You work for the same department for 4 years but sit at more than 10 desks.
  • You’ve been the same job for 4 years but have had 10 different supervisors.
  • You order your business cards in “half orders” instead of whole boxes.
  • When someone asks about what you do for a living, you cannot explain it in one sentence.
  • You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
  • You use acronyms in your everyday speech.
  • Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
  • You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
  • It’s dark when you drive to and from work.
  • The words “challenge” and “opportunity” make you shiver in fear.
  • You see a well-dressed, good-looking person and know it’s just a visitor.
  • Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
  • Being sick is defined as “can’t walk” or “in the hospital”.
  • Workplace art involves a white, dry-erase board.
  • You’re already late on the assignment you just got.
  • You’re bosses most common expression is “when you get a few minutes…”.


Just so you know, I hide my stapler so no one will take it...because if someone were to take my stapler, I'd probably kill every mother fucker in the building!


4 comments:

the warrior bard said...

Maybe I'm glad I've been rejected for every single fucking bank job I've applied for in the past TWO FUCKING YEARS.

Because for ME, the only Bank Job... is the one with Jason Fucking Statham in it.

Mikey the Pikey said...

"Perfect! And that is the way it shall be!!!"

word verification: imnismad

Gee, probably not the best time to talk to Imn then, eh?!

Herr Vogler said...

"What can I say? I advise you to get a career!"

the warrior bard said...

Word verification: whites